When we talk about inspiration, I assume it means you are looking up to someone or something whose energy gives you meaning to whatever you want to do, but not wanting to be THEM!
For instance, you can have Obama as your inspiration not because you want to be president Obama but because his positivity and ways of doing things spark a belief that you can achieve anything you want.
It becomes quite sad to watch and see how young people are overwhelmed with the misinterpretation of inspiration, instead of being inspired they are pressured by comparison!
There is this single mother whose firstborn is a girl, as a teenager her daughter watched the suffering of her mother, the hustle her mother went through to put food on their table, moving from home to home to get accommodated because they could not afford houses in Juba since the conflict displaced them from their cradle home. Suzan (Not her real name) wanted to relieve the pain of the hard work from her mother. So, she got a job as a front desk officer in a company. The little money she earned enabled her to rent a house for her mother and siblings to have a place they called home. When she was promoted at her workplace from front desk to assistant administrator, her salary also increased, this time she managed to take her siblings to school, paid for their health (if it arises) paid for feeding for years, she enrolled back in school. Thank God to her boss who according to her was very understanding and also encouraged her to continue her studies.
In her early 20s she managed to get a boyfriend that she was so in love with, (given their frequent posts on social media), the guy proposed to her.
However, her mother was not happy with her engagement and wanted to end the relationship, by all means, she argues that Suzan is still young and she barely owns resources like a plot of land. She exerts pressure on her to buy a house (not a rented house) because she was tired of living in a rented house for many years.
According to Suzan, her mother is comparing her to one of the ladies she inspires to be like. THer inspiration travels frequently and bought a car, but this same inspirational figure did not achieve some things that Suzan has, like renting a house for her parents or siblings.
Her mother has genuine concerns but comparing her to the people her daughter looks up to only contributes to lowering her self-esteem and above all makes her an unappreciative mother who does not sympathize with the sacrifices her daughter made to make them comfortable.
“I have many priorities but buying a car is not one of them for now and I don’t have enough to buy things like the plot of land now. My mother wants me to be like other people that I told her are inspiring me, if they decide to buy a car then good for them, for me getting a roof over my siblings even if rented one is a priority than a car, but she forgot that and now my love life is mixed into this”
From this story, it beats my understanding what inspiration actually means?
Why is it so easy to compare to someone else even if you look up to them? One thing for sure is that much as we admire the people we look up to we can never be them. We can borrow their energy of doing things but not how they do things. Stop comparing yourselves, your children in the name of inspiration, this gives unnecessary pressure hence low self-esteem backed by continuous personal conflicts.
Suzan married the love of her life against her mother’s pressure. They lived happy ever after but of course still paying for the needs of her mother’s family.
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